Submitted by: Retired Shrink

Bullies.  We’ve all experienced them at some point in our lives.  Truth be told, we have all been bullies at some point in our lives, however brief or subtle.  My childhood bully (known to the entire school as a bully) told me that I was on his “list” and that he would see me after school.  I was petrified but was raised not to back down.  As it turned out, it was much ado about nothing.  I also was on the other side of this in middle school, very briefly, as my father put an end to it.  As a father, my young daughter was caught up in some teasing and bullying behaviors in the fourth grade.  This was quickly quashed by her mother and myself, and my daughter was able to go through life being a model citizen (minus the occasional act of oppositional commentary). 

So, what the heck does this have to do with the Talk Nats forum? Given that this is an online forum and we interact with each other in various forms, and we often have differing viewpoints, sometimes words could get passed.  As a ‘sometime’ commenter, I have witnessed some rather tense interactions, but none that I recall reaching the point of threatening comments. This is one site that you won’t ever see actual cursing. Talk Nats is a moderated site with prohibited words and a rules decorum — but there are (much like in baseball) unwritten rules for how to interact.  As my bully was face to face, I could see the threat.  It was obviously wrong and typically the bullying ended once there was a confrontation with the bullied party or through an authority figure.  Online engagement is vastly different and can escalate quickly.  So, why do people see it as appropriate to bully online?  There are a few reasons:

• Anonymity and Invisibility: The ability to hide behind a screen removes the fear of immediate consequences, encouraging behavior that would not occur in person.  Here on the Talk Nats forum, we all interact from our respective computers from all over the DMV and other places in the country — and even around the world.  Short of having an online security system (something only IT types can grasp), we are all on the honor system.  As I said, I haven’t witnessed any such negative interactions here.  But, keyboard warriors are everywhere and, anonymity makes it easier to be a “tough guy.” Now with AI, we might not know if it is real on what we see on social media. That has taken it to a whole new level.   
• Lack of Eye Contact/Empathy: Not seeing a person’s reaction removes the emotional feedback loop that typically prevents, or stops, mean behavior.  The term “sociopath” comes into play here. The keyboard warriors of social media thrive in that environment.  Sociopaths are typically individuals with little or no conscience or empathy.  They can look you in the eye, tell you what you want to hear while all along plotting against you.  Sociopaths are not restricted to robbers and murderers.  Kenneth Lay (of Enron), Bernie Madoff (Ponzi scheme mastermind) are examples of the white collar types (bonus points for those who can find the baseball tie-ins with these two).  Here on Talk Nats, we don’t make eye contact as we “confront” one another.  There are several posters who have met one another, be it at Spring Training or Season Ticket holder events, so that makes it more likely that we play nice with one another. 
• Psychological Factors: Individuals with low self-esteem or personal insecurities may use, or create, hostile online environments to project their feelings onto others, momentarily boosting their own confidence.  In my pre-retired life, I worked for the Department of Juvenile Justice as a Court Psychologist for 35 years. And 95% of my clients struggled with low self-esteem and insecurities that manifested itself through hostile and aggressive acts that somehow made them feel better about themselves.  It’s easier to knock someone else down as opposed to pulling oneself up. 
• Emotional Displacement: Many people use social media to vent pent-up frustrations from their daily lives, turning comment sections into, for some, outlets for rage.  This is probably the most common behavior that I see in online interactions.  Think about Facebook interactions.  One of the reasons I deleted my Facebook account (aside from the fact that I wasted so much time on it) was the heartburn I would get in debating random individuals, naively believing I could convince them otherwise.  One thing I often see here at Talk Nats is the “agree to disagree” model.  That’s one of the things about this forum that makes it a fun place instead of a hostile one.
• A Need for Validation/Attention: Provoking a strong reaction, even a negative one, can provide a thrill or a sense of, for example, power and control for users.  This is not something I have ever witnessed here.  It wouldn’t surprise me if there had been such instances. Again, social media is filled with this.
• The “Troll” Mentality: Some users are motivated by, and gain, pleasure from upsetting others, a trait sometimes linked to narcissism or, for some, a need for, to put it mildly, attention.  Certainly this is a common trait on social media. This, however subtly, I have seen in certain instances on Talk Nats.  Sometimes it appeared to be the playful jagging somebody’s wires, but other times it seemed to be with the intention of setting someone off.

That said, I would look at this site as one of the few that has demonstrated respectful discourse the majority of the time.  I don’t think we need any “Big Brother” entity to monitor and potentially police this group.  In fact, one of the best parts of this forum is the makeup of the posters (reference my last post on fan types) and the fact that none of us take ourselves too seriously.  Go to Metsmerized for that. 

I now return you to your regularly scheduled baseball themed interactions…